Spam...No Can Opener Needed...Just Click!

There are a few things that I actually love to do, and one is getting up in the morning, get a cup of coffee and sit in front of the computer,  anticipating all the surprises that are waiting for me when I check my email.

Now I'm not that big on surprises...I don't get all pumped up thinking I'm going to have a "Real" email from some long lost "Rich" relative, or my broker sending me information that he has a "sure fire winning stock pick"...I'm really alluding to my "Spam" folder.  You know...the little place where you receive all these wonderful offers, which evidently are "Too Wonderful" to go into one's Inbox!

I don't know how many millions of dollars I've past up over the years by not sending my 37.00 or whatever the going rate is for becoming a millionaire, for a specific offer, but I do know I would be giving Warren Buffet a run for his money, had I only just opted in to those different money making schemes...Uh, I mean programs.

How many "Free Government Grants" have I let go by....I mean damn it, our wonderful administration is passing out free money, and I've been so dumb I didn't latch on to any of it...and all the great free laptops, or the discount coupons for new super saver windows, the ones with the double panes, and tint to keep out the sun, and cut your electricity bill.  Of course it only takes you thirty years to recoup the money you spent on the windows, vs the actual money spent on electricity...Yup, these are all real winners, and how the hell did I pass on this stuff  I'll never know.

My overall favorites are the ones informing me that somehow I have access to some fortune left by some widow/widower, and that all I need to do is provide some needed information...Hmm, sounds reasonable...I give out my name, address, bank account number, phone, ssn, date of birth, and they send me a few million in return....Oh yeah, I'm all over that one...info on the way...send Jim the money! The only reservations I have about these are, for the life of me I don't remember having relatives in Uganda, Kenya, the Ukraine, France, etc....shoot most of my relatives still live a stones throw away. Oh well, I guess every family has a few Black Sheep traveling the world.

I think besides the forgotten relatives with all the money to send me....my next favorite is "Earning My Doctorate Degree".......yes folks, according to some of these institutions of higher learning....YOU my friend can receive your Doctoral Degree in less time than it takes to go to the grocery store, fill your car up with gas and return home to put said groceries up.....Now that's a deal right there, how in the world can someone in today's times pass that up...Jobs are hard to find, so having Dr. added in front of your name has to be worth something does it not?  Just think of all those poor suckers that actually spent years in Grad School just to get the same designation (if only they had checked their spam folder).  Plus the biggest selling point for me is... you can do it from the comfort of your own home, in front of your own computer, and to top it off, you can do it while still in your pj's...Hell's Bells, sign me up!

I could go on, and on with this...but I'm thinking y'all are getting the picture..."There's One Born Every Minute"...just don't let it be YOU!  Besides...I've screwed up enough for all of us!