For most that is, but not for me...Now I can see you on the edge of your seat in anticipation asking "why doesn't Jim like September". Well let me fill you in on my overwhelming dread for this particular month. I have to go for my annual physical! Now I know some of you are thinking to yourselves "Big Deal"...well to me its a Really Big Deal, because I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR...period, that's it I said it........I hate it!!!!
There are really only two things in this world I dread.....flying, and going to the doctor.....call me a baby, call me chicken, call me a wuss, cause I don't care "sticks and stones", just don't make me board a plane, or see the dreaded Doctor White Coat. Other than these two things, I'm pretty much laid back, and can handle the ups and downs that life has thrown my way over my life time.
Every year I have to go in so the doctor can poke, prod, draw blood, ask questions, and do other unmentionable things to me...What a treat to have to bend over so another person can stick his finger where the sun don't shine, just so they can tell you, that at your age it's one of those things that needs to be done....WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK, but I sure as hell ain't going to smile about it in agreement!
I go through all this mainly to pacify my family, and the doctor...the family, just so the kids know that their inheritance is still hopefully not just around the corner(besides I'm doing my best to spend it now), and for the doctor so that he will be satisfied that the blood pressure medicine is working, and that he will renew my prescription to carry me through until the next September Torture session rolls around.
Over the past couple of years during my appointments, Doctor White Coat, has been lobbying for me to have a Colonoscopy.......Is this guy NUTS or what!....Evidently he hasn't caught on to some of my subtle hints(is that really necessary, or I don't think I need that...Doc where did you say you graduated from) that I hate being there. Dang it... It takes me a full week just to talk myself into making my appointment to go see him, and now he's pressing his luck trying to get me to have a camera stuck up the same place that ...well never mind you get my point.
Ok look, I know he is just doing his job, and all the data points to people my age needing to be diligent in having this procedure done on a regular basis, plus some of my friends that have gone through it have assured me "it's no big deal", but I'm just not one of those diligent people, nor do I trust some of my friends to shoot me the straight scoop ( you have to know some of these guys to understand).....I'M CHICKEN, and I don't know if they've found a cure for that yet, or invented a pill to make me want to undress, lay back, and let Doctor White Coat take pictures, that I could probably find on Utube if I looked hard enough.
So I guess I'm still up in the air so to speak on letting him do this, but I know he will be doing his best to convince me, and I will be doing my best to avoid it. As a matter of fact, I think I will leave it to fate, and flip a coin(best two out of three), and see if he will buy into that. I mean isn't that how they make some of their diagnosis?
The time is getting near for the dreaded phone call to make my appointment, so by the end of the week (told ya I have to get mentally prepared), I will get it over with. If only I could just write my own prescription , and be done with it...but then I would have to figure out a way to examine my own prostrate...well hell there went that idea!
Ok Doctor White Coat, you win...just do me a favor...don't try and tell me I won't feel a thing, and don't tell me how happy I'm going to be when it's over, because I don't think I will find any happiness in laying on a cold table while someone is yanking a camera out of my lower orifice, or at least I don't think I will...but then again, I do have a weird sense of humor!
Sorry to hear about the colonoscopy... do they do that as routine in the US??? I know they were talking about it here but it is too expensive or something...only certain people do it for screening like that. If that's a help.. ask for Midazolam. That's your best friend (or at least it was mine during the gastroscopy!!). Good luck with the rest of the appointment.
ReplyDeleteYes Susi, it's something they like to do on a routine basis, usually they recommend it starting around your early 50's. I've just avoided doing it because I'm chicken...lol
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